My dear friends' Mom (Bethy Bugs) Joyce, has been recently diagnosed with stage 4 Breast Cancer. Joyce has been writing a blog speaking about her journey and writing poetry about her feelings. It just made me tear up reading her last one. I was so moved that I thought I'd share it here:
MOCKINGBIRD’S LAMENT
In twilight of the dawn
as sun begins to peak across
horizon’s early span
I take a quiet walk…
I settle on a bench beneath a Maple;
a tree that seems older -
much older than my great granny.
At least its bark has far more wrinkles
and blotchy brown age spots
than she before her day of passing.
I sit in deepest thought beneath this old tree…
And soon discover it is a shared place,
for just above my head
a Mockingbird bewails in cicada clicks
sensing staidness of my mood,
his wings spread in a rummy two-step motion
as he sings, not in simulation
of my silent tears,
but in mockery to shadows of despair
lurking far too near.
Aloft on his sturdy perch
he bolts into the air,
again with outstretched wings
in courtship demonstration
as he shares in solitude’s desire,
yet knows there’s need for fellowship
in time of sheltered fear.
He knows no tune for cancer
so no death lament is mimicked in his loud
and rapid song,
but kinship of the atmosphere…
trepidation,
with feathered trills of hope.
Powerful isn't it?? Makes me sit here and think, what words would I possess if I were to find myself in her same predicament. I can't say that mine would be so eloquent, so poised or strong as that! Perhaps it is the season of Lent or all the things I have been discussing in classes, that leads me to wonder how can bad things happen to good people? I know it sounds clique, but the truth is, it does happen. I, as a future Pastor, will have to one day look in the eyes of someone who may be near death and give them the comfort. I hope that when that day comes, I will possess the same poise and strength that my friend Joyce does up above!
Now don't misunderstand me, I KNOW that God walks with us everyday and loves us through and through, but is it really enough? My paper I am writing today is about a Cistern Monk named Bernard Clairvaux and his beliefs on loving God. He points out that there is argueably 4 degrees of love and that we should embrace them all. It is God's desire to be in close relationship with us, but I have to admit, that there are some day when I don't feel worthy, and some days when I may not possess the strength to go to God. But in the end, all I want is to walk with my God everyday. To feel God's prescience in my life and be filled with his love and grace. That's All Folks! Have a blessed afternoon/evening, etc!
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