WOW....even as I type the words, its almost frightening to me but exciting all at the same time. This semester has been one of spiritual growth, renewal of my faith and love of God and some personal changes in my life too. ALL of which I am SO happy about that I'd probably make those reading sick to hear about it all...but hey, it is MY blog, so here it goes.
So - I know on my last post, almost a month ago now, things were becoming interesting with my new "friend". First, he did give me permission to say his name. His name is Gary. And he is officially my boyfriend. It is so nice having one again. It has been a long time since I've had someone actually care about me and my quirkiness (which many people who know me at all will tell you can be a lot)...but we do enjoy spending time together. Last Saturday, we went and flew a kite together. It was just one of those Kodak moments that I hope to remember....well, I will since I video taped him trying to keep the kite up on a pretty windy day! I enjoy just sitting and talking to him or just walking hand in hand. He makes me smile, he values my thoughts and makes me feel pretty important. All qualities that are great in a boyfriend. I met his family last weekend for the first time (his Mom and Sister and nieces); with the condition that he would come to church with me. His family is so loving and wonderful, it was obvious to me that the apple didn't fall far from the tree. We actually went back up to see them again today for Mother's Day. His church experience with me was nice too. I think he enjoyed it. I just thought it was nice that he shared something with me that was deeply personal. I know it meant more to me than him, but it's OK. We, Gary and I are just hoping to work something out about seeing each other this summer....as Dallas is a long ways from where he lives. I have to believe that if he and I are meant to be together it will all work out. Now that I have a boyfriend, I am also contemplating about whether or not I should put restrictions on where I want to go for my internship in 2 years. I kinda have to make a decision about that before the end of this summer, as my paperwork is due this Fall when I return to school. I don't know about that yet, but what I do know is that the more time spend with him, the more I want to be around him and I know he feels the same. His kids I haven't met yet, but hope to soon. I look forward to doing that as I know it is something very important to him. 4 kids are a blessing, not an obstacle, so I will approach it that way when the time comes. For now, I continue to pray for him and his kids as they all are having challenges with his divorce...as divorces always seem to lend itself to that!
My Pastor finally made it here last week for another visit. It was a quick visit, but a visit none the less! I seemed to recall his last visit, me still being homesick, so this one was quite different. It is so nice to have deep theological conversations with someone who gets it? And unless you are someone in the field, that is kinda hard to explain. I am starting to look forward to starting my CPE and putting some of this theological/pastoral care stuff to use! I know it will be easier said than done, but I am COUNTING that when the time comes, I will be filled with the Holy Spirit and will possess the right words to say to help someone in need. That and I'll be carrying my Pastoral Care book EVERYWHERE with me! I will be staying with Margaret, a member of my home church this summer. I'm looking forward to that too, as she has a nice big pool in her backyard. SOMETHING I PLAN TO USE probably everyday! Margaret is such a blessing to open her home to me. I am still feeling a little guilty about not staying with Julie and Darrell this summer but I know I will probably see them everyday...as I LOVE spending time with my God Daughter. I can't wait to see everyone at my home church. It will be nice to worship at my home church again....even if it is for just a few months. My name is officially on my home Synod's website for Pulpit Supply this summer. It was nice seeing my name listed as a "real" seminarian preacher....weird even typing that!
Family drama. Enough said. My siblings and I had to have a conference call to address some issues for my mother and grandmother. My grandmother is just getting older and older and my brother and sister Tamara believes, she truly may not be around by the end of the year. This deeply saddens me, so I am trying to see if I can make some time to get home to NC soon, as I KNOW I will regret it if don't.
So, as this last week of classes begins, I am amazed and in aw at how far I have come within one year. This time last year I was preparing for a big move with much sadness and anxiety. NOW as I end my first year...my emotions are a little the same. Sadness in leaving my boyfriend all summer and my seminary family of friends and a little anxiety (not a lot) about starting CPE. I'll be doing my best to post updates this summer during my CPE...not making any promises.
So I'll close for now and will probably type again from home in Dallas, TX. Peace and blessings to all reading.
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