I have been through a whirlwind of emotions this summer. I've enjoyed spending time with my friends and my church family, but it has come with a price. Gary and I are over. Can't say that I am surprised, as I have a knack for running men off! Or in this case...he decided to run from me. Not much I can do there. I had sensed his discontent with me after he left here from Texas not knowing why. I had shared some information about my past that he had a problem with and that's his prerogative. (However, to my defense, a person who claimed to have loved me, would accept my past and love who I am now). I now question how he truly cared for me this whole time, as I feel, he has in essence been lying to me since he left, by not being honest about the way he felt.....but I will not sit here and play the "what if" game or bash his name on the internet over something I cannot change. I am better than that. The pure fact: Gary and I are not more. Especially since I know his family reads all that I write...or at least used to. As saddened as it is for me, because I do not say, "I Love You" to just any man, as I am entering a pretty important part of my life right now, I will survive and move on. I have to. I only hope that in our short time together, that he will someday look back at it and smile.
More about my last week of CPE and my visit home to see my family soon to come.
Heartbroken again....
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