Man, oh man...I can't believe it, but I actually had forgotten how HOT it gets here during the summer! All I can say is that I AM VERY happy that where I am staying this summer has a nice big pool in the backyard...so THANKS MARGARET!
Yes, Finally back here in Texas. As soon as I got here, wanted to spend time with my God Daughter, Chloe and my best friend Julie. I played with her for almost 2 days straight. It's amazing how much energy a toddler can just WIPE right out of you! I was literally exhausted from playing...and that's hard for me to even type! I dunno how Julie does that everyday! But God love her for being a Full time MOM PLUS pregnant??!! I dunno that I would possess the energy let alone the patience to do it!
So I'm all settled in at Marg's house for the summer in N. Dallas area. I have a nice King sized bed for the summer and nice accommodations, and NOW lots of free time. I sincerely regret that I didn't rethink things and stay up in Illinois with Gary a little longer. I honestly thought we would get tired of each other after spending a week together and I'd be WANTING to leave, but It was really hard to leave him, knowing that wouldn't see him again for at least 2 months! I've gotten so spoiled and used to seeing him every 2 weeks when I was in school that NOW (especially after spending a week together) I am realizing how much I truly miss him. Yeah, I know it's sickening but even writing about him now makes me smile. It has been a long time since I have been this happy in a relationship and I consider myself VERY lucky to have him in my life. He has become more than just my boyfriend, but someone I trust, depend on, my friend and someone I cherish and care for very deeply. Someone I want to keep in my life for a LONG time.
So this past Sunday was my first Sunday back at my home church. It is sad for me to be gone for a while and return to see people getting older, people who have left the church, but also see the changes the church has made. It's tough for me to feel like an outsider now in my own church family, but that's what it feels like. My Pastor has already asked me when I wanted to preach...I told him just to give me a week's notice and I can be ready. I think he's ready for a vacation already! I'll be playing as much as I can in my church Praise Band, but they won't be playing most of the summer, which is a bummer for me. But I realize they have been busy all year long while I've been away at school and need a break too! We have a concert coming up the end of June. I don't know what role I will play yet in that concert, but for now, I am just attending a few rehearsals just for fun.
Found out I passed my BIG systematics class! My final paper was 50% of my grade. I was nervous about it. I spent a lot of time on it and had several people read it. So I guess the paper was OK since I passed the class! I wish I could have another semester of Systematics. While it was very challenging, it also helped me form my theological foundation of my future ministry. I loved it!
So CPE starts on June 7th. I have been blowing time here at the Richardson Library, trying to write one more paper! Since I didn't do J-Term, I have a paper to write that is due the day I start CPE. I've started it and have an outline, so I have a start on it. Need to do some more reading to complete it. It is a paper on the Theology of Pain and Suffering. Should be a good one! Well....I am off to Julie's to play with Chloe for a bit. Peace and God's grace be with all who are reading.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
The last week of school...my first year DONE??
WOW....even as I type the words, its almost frightening to me but exciting all at the same time. This semester has been one of spiritual growth, renewal of my faith and love of God and some personal changes in my life too. ALL of which I am SO happy about that I'd probably make those reading sick to hear about it all...but hey, it is MY blog, so here it goes.
So - I know on my last post, almost a month ago now, things were becoming interesting with my new "friend". First, he did give me permission to say his name. His name is Gary. And he is officially my boyfriend. It is so nice having one again. It has been a long time since I've had someone actually care about me and my quirkiness (which many people who know me at all will tell you can be a lot)...but we do enjoy spending time together. Last Saturday, we went and flew a kite together. It was just one of those Kodak moments that I hope to remember....well, I will since I video taped him trying to keep the kite up on a pretty windy day! I enjoy just sitting and talking to him or just walking hand in hand. He makes me smile, he values my thoughts and makes me feel pretty important. All qualities that are great in a boyfriend. I met his family last weekend for the first time (his Mom and Sister and nieces); with the condition that he would come to church with me. His family is so loving and wonderful, it was obvious to me that the apple didn't fall far from the tree. We actually went back up to see them again today for Mother's Day. His church experience with me was nice too. I think he enjoyed it. I just thought it was nice that he shared something with me that was deeply personal. I know it meant more to me than him, but it's OK. We, Gary and I are just hoping to work something out about seeing each other this summer....as Dallas is a long ways from where he lives. I have to believe that if he and I are meant to be together it will all work out. Now that I have a boyfriend, I am also contemplating about whether or not I should put restrictions on where I want to go for my internship in 2 years. I kinda have to make a decision about that before the end of this summer, as my paperwork is due this Fall when I return to school. I don't know about that yet, but what I do know is that the more time spend with him, the more I want to be around him and I know he feels the same. His kids I haven't met yet, but hope to soon. I look forward to doing that as I know it is something very important to him. 4 kids are a blessing, not an obstacle, so I will approach it that way when the time comes. For now, I continue to pray for him and his kids as they all are having challenges with his divorce...as divorces always seem to lend itself to that!
My Pastor finally made it here last week for another visit. It was a quick visit, but a visit none the less! I seemed to recall his last visit, me still being homesick, so this one was quite different. It is so nice to have deep theological conversations with someone who gets it? And unless you are someone in the field, that is kinda hard to explain. I am starting to look forward to starting my CPE and putting some of this theological/pastoral care stuff to use! I know it will be easier said than done, but I am COUNTING that when the time comes, I will be filled with the Holy Spirit and will possess the right words to say to help someone in need. That and I'll be carrying my Pastoral Care book EVERYWHERE with me! I will be staying with Margaret, a member of my home church this summer. I'm looking forward to that too, as she has a nice big pool in her backyard. SOMETHING I PLAN TO USE probably everyday! Margaret is such a blessing to open her home to me. I am still feeling a little guilty about not staying with Julie and Darrell this summer but I know I will probably see them everyday...as I LOVE spending time with my God Daughter. I can't wait to see everyone at my home church. It will be nice to worship at my home church again....even if it is for just a few months. My name is officially on my home Synod's website for Pulpit Supply this summer. It was nice seeing my name listed as a "real" seminarian preacher....weird even typing that!
Family drama. Enough said. My siblings and I had to have a conference call to address some issues for my mother and grandmother. My grandmother is just getting older and older and my brother and sister Tamara believes, she truly may not be around by the end of the year. This deeply saddens me, so I am trying to see if I can make some time to get home to NC soon, as I KNOW I will regret it if don't.
So, as this last week of classes begins, I am amazed and in aw at how far I have come within one year. This time last year I was preparing for a big move with much sadness and anxiety. NOW as I end my first year...my emotions are a little the same. Sadness in leaving my boyfriend all summer and my seminary family of friends and a little anxiety (not a lot) about starting CPE. I'll be doing my best to post updates this summer during my CPE...not making any promises.
So I'll close for now and will probably type again from home in Dallas, TX. Peace and blessings to all reading.
So - I know on my last post, almost a month ago now, things were becoming interesting with my new "friend". First, he did give me permission to say his name. His name is Gary. And he is officially my boyfriend. It is so nice having one again. It has been a long time since I've had someone actually care about me and my quirkiness (which many people who know me at all will tell you can be a lot)...but we do enjoy spending time together. Last Saturday, we went and flew a kite together. It was just one of those Kodak moments that I hope to remember....well, I will since I video taped him trying to keep the kite up on a pretty windy day! I enjoy just sitting and talking to him or just walking hand in hand. He makes me smile, he values my thoughts and makes me feel pretty important. All qualities that are great in a boyfriend. I met his family last weekend for the first time (his Mom and Sister and nieces); with the condition that he would come to church with me. His family is so loving and wonderful, it was obvious to me that the apple didn't fall far from the tree. We actually went back up to see them again today for Mother's Day. His church experience with me was nice too. I think he enjoyed it. I just thought it was nice that he shared something with me that was deeply personal. I know it meant more to me than him, but it's OK. We, Gary and I are just hoping to work something out about seeing each other this summer....as Dallas is a long ways from where he lives. I have to believe that if he and I are meant to be together it will all work out. Now that I have a boyfriend, I am also contemplating about whether or not I should put restrictions on where I want to go for my internship in 2 years. I kinda have to make a decision about that before the end of this summer, as my paperwork is due this Fall when I return to school. I don't know about that yet, but what I do know is that the more time spend with him, the more I want to be around him and I know he feels the same. His kids I haven't met yet, but hope to soon. I look forward to doing that as I know it is something very important to him. 4 kids are a blessing, not an obstacle, so I will approach it that way when the time comes. For now, I continue to pray for him and his kids as they all are having challenges with his divorce...as divorces always seem to lend itself to that!
My Pastor finally made it here last week for another visit. It was a quick visit, but a visit none the less! I seemed to recall his last visit, me still being homesick, so this one was quite different. It is so nice to have deep theological conversations with someone who gets it? And unless you are someone in the field, that is kinda hard to explain. I am starting to look forward to starting my CPE and putting some of this theological/pastoral care stuff to use! I know it will be easier said than done, but I am COUNTING that when the time comes, I will be filled with the Holy Spirit and will possess the right words to say to help someone in need. That and I'll be carrying my Pastoral Care book EVERYWHERE with me! I will be staying with Margaret, a member of my home church this summer. I'm looking forward to that too, as she has a nice big pool in her backyard. SOMETHING I PLAN TO USE probably everyday! Margaret is such a blessing to open her home to me. I am still feeling a little guilty about not staying with Julie and Darrell this summer but I know I will probably see them everyday...as I LOVE spending time with my God Daughter. I can't wait to see everyone at my home church. It will be nice to worship at my home church again....even if it is for just a few months. My name is officially on my home Synod's website for Pulpit Supply this summer. It was nice seeing my name listed as a "real" seminarian preacher....weird even typing that!
Family drama. Enough said. My siblings and I had to have a conference call to address some issues for my mother and grandmother. My grandmother is just getting older and older and my brother and sister Tamara believes, she truly may not be around by the end of the year. This deeply saddens me, so I am trying to see if I can make some time to get home to NC soon, as I KNOW I will regret it if don't.
So, as this last week of classes begins, I am amazed and in aw at how far I have come within one year. This time last year I was preparing for a big move with much sadness and anxiety. NOW as I end my first year...my emotions are a little the same. Sadness in leaving my boyfriend all summer and my seminary family of friends and a little anxiety (not a lot) about starting CPE. I'll be doing my best to post updates this summer during my CPE...not making any promises.
So I'll close for now and will probably type again from home in Dallas, TX. Peace and blessings to all reading.
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