This mother of a 7 month old boy came in with random seizures. The mother has continued to be very emotional and frustrated that her son is not getting better but seems to be worsening. After several test have been run and medication has been administered, the young patient’s seizures seem to be getting longer. The mother was very distraught and saying her prayer has been, “that God take his illness and give it to her”. While I understood her frustration and allowed her to share other concerns, I encouraged her to rather pray for patience and peace in her heart and mind. I further encouraged her to “not pray that she be inflicted with sickness to save her son”. I shared with her and reminded her that she does have other children and a husband that need her too. I was honest in telling her that I was unsure whether her son would get better, but rather assured her that God will be with him through his sickness. I made no promises of his recovery, which was difficult, but truthful. Too often, I have heard parents saying, “Oh, my child, will be OK”! I have deliberately avoided saying this, but rather comfort them in assuring them that God is present and will provide what is needed according to his will. While I do not always verbalize that fact to a patient that is distraught, I do feel I try to convey a message of presence and peace that God can provide when people draw near to him.
My second story is my favorite:
I remember one day doing rounds on B6 and I went to the nurses station to check in and asked the nurse there, who later told me she was a technician, was there anyone I should specifically speak to or should see. Her response was, “No, not that I know of, but if you ask me, the young lady in B6206 needs Jesus and doesn’t know it”. I asked her why she thought that and she said I should review her chart before I entered and I did. I read that this young mother, 17 years old, comes from a highly aggressive mother and has HIV and now her new born son also has it and the father is no where in the picture. Her son had been hospitalized for pneumonia. So I gowned up and walked in as she was rocking her new 3 month old baby boy. I introduced myself as the Chaplain and said “I just wanted to come by to see how you and your son were doing”. Her response, “I don’t need no chaplain”. I said “ok, but I actually came by to speak to your son, may I do that”? She looked at me awkwardly and reluctantly said, “I guess” and turned the boy around so I could see him. I began to speak to the little boy, telling him how I hoped he’d get better soon and that God loved him and that I would pray for him. As I finished I started to walk out, smiling at the mother who now looked shocked. As I opened the door, she said, “Wait. Why did you do that?”. I said, “because he’s someone in pain and that’s what I do. I come by and help people or talk to people in pain”. She said, “sorry about what I said before”. I smiled and said it’s alright”. The next thing I know, this girl is sharing her story. This girl simply needed to be heard and I listened without passing judgment or taking offense to what she had said as I entered. In the end, I felt I may have made a small difference in her life all because I was able to see past her own fears and anxieties to help her with her own.
I have done 5 funeral this summer, 2 yesterday! I know I am in an aging congregation, but it getting a little depressing. Every time I come home, seeing another member getting sicker and sicker, older and older. I do pray for new growth for my church. I think it would change a lot of things.
So my best friend, Julie is moving finally! They close on their house at the end of this month...God willing. So I've been doing a lot of babysitting this week, so Darrell and Julie can pack! Their house is slowly getting there, but they still have a LONG way to go. I at least had a chance to see their new home in Plano, TX. It's a 4 bedroom one story home. I'll be staying there in December when I come home for their 2nd child's baptism, Alexis. Julie and I just finished a project for both the girls. We made them both a shadow boxes with different themes. They came out so good. Better than I thought it would. Julie and I fuss a lot at each other when we do projects, but the end result is always beautiful!
I wish I could say that I have spent a lot of time with other people, but truly I haven't. My tight schedule with CPE kept me pretty busy at the hospital. So the last few weeks, I would leave a little early just to go by and see Chloe and Julie on my way home. I regret I haven't had more time! There is still some people I really wanted to see, but will probably not.
School is coming up fast...and what am I most excited about? GETTING A KINDLE. Someone bought one for me and I can get about half my textbooks on it, so it seemed like a good purchase to save me LOTS of money on books for school. I have been working on my Hebrew Alphabet little by little. I think I've got most of it down. I think I'm ready to be back in school for Fall. I've missed my colleagues and am ready to have my endorsement interview. Spring semester will be when I find out where I am going - assuming I get approval. My endorsement paper has been going good. I'm up to 8 out of 10 pages, so I know I'll get it done in time.
I leave for NC this Saturday for 5 days. Its the first time in a LONG time that I am really looking forward to being home. It just seems my family has been going through a lot of changes, as a result of my personal changes. I read about this phenomenon in a book I read this summer called Generation to Generation, where I was studying about family dynamics. When someone in a major role in a family shifts, it causes the entire, "homostatis" to shift too. In other words, are my family changes a result of all the changes I have gone through? Who knows....I like to think it is God at work.
Finally, last but not least....yes, single again. I can honestly say, I'm OK with the break up. That's not to say that I am not angry or hurt because I am. I am still going through some emotions about it, but not an overwhelming sadness....seems kinda odd to me that I'm not all weepy about it. I think largely because of how it all happened. Maybe it won't really hit me till I get back to school, but by then, I'll be back in my "school zone"....easy to stay busy. I truly believe I am meant to be with someone....but finding the right one continues to be a challenge for me. Maybe I need take a break, maybe I need to stop looking, maybe, maybe, maybe.....ugghh. All I know is that it sucks to be single at 40, which is coming up soon! I'm truly not THAT worried. I know someone is out there, but God is still working on him...making him just right for me. In the meantime, I'll keep blogging, keep my dear friends and family close and treasure every moment of my life. I laid in Margaret's pool today floating and counting my blessings. I have so many things to be Thankful for. I love myself, my life and my God. Sure someone to share my life with would be a blessing, but maybe I just need to be more patient. God has provided everything else in my life, I need to have a little more faith.
Peace and blessings to all reading... <><
