WOW...been a while since I last gave an update. Quite honestly, most of the people that read this thing are here in Texas sooo....because I've been seeing most of them this summer, been slow on the updating of my blog. So sorry to those who don't live in Texas! (Although you should be glad, as it has been one HHHHOOOTTT summer down here!)
So CPE...what shall I say first....It has been the most emotionally draining, physically exhausting, hard warming, stressful yet rewarding thing I have EVER done....and THAT includes my time teaching kids elementary music! OK, ok, maybe it runs a VERY close second! LOL I am now half way through my CPE experience and I continue to learn more about myself everyday; which is what this program is designed to do, on TOP of teaching me Pastoral Care! I luckily have not had to personally handle a death case yet (where someone has died and I have been present) but I have definitely been around it, surrounded by it, worked with families who are going through the grieving process or end of life issues. It has truly made me reevaluate how I view and see my own death and made me really realize how precious life truly is and how quickly we too often take it for granted. Working at a Children's Hospital I KNEW would be extreme;y challenging to me, and everyday I seem to work through one more thing. So that has been my daily mantra to myself as I say my morning prayers, "God, help me see, feel, experience the "One thing" I need to learn today to help me become a better servant for you". So far, that prayer continues to be a blessing for me and so far, I have learned more than I ever thought I would be. But it has also been so TIRING and exhausting for me. I am in bed by 9 every night and chatting with Gary by 8 every night, so I guess he's had to adjust too!
Gary and I are continuing to do well. I guess I can type all this, since the cat is out of the bag, he was here over 4th of July weekend, which was very cool. (His kids didn't know he was here, but I didn't think it was a good idea that he NOT tell them that!....for the record!) It had been over a month since I had seen him last. I suppose I truly didn't realize how much I really missed him until he was here. Yeah, we do chat every night and text a lot through out the day, but I just missed being around him. Missed the little things, like holding his hand, sitting next to him at a movie. He brings me a great sense of comfort that I can't explain. He also got a chance to hear me preach for the first time. That made me VERY nervous, but it made me feel really good for him to say he was proud of me, that he really thought I did well and that I'm going to make a good pastor someday. There was quite a bit of drama that day, as his kids found out he was in Texas and were quite upset! They were even calling me; which is just awkward since I haven't met any of them yet, but that is something I am looking forward to. Gary's kids I think are a great extension of who he is, so for me by meeting his kids, I feel I would get a glimpse of another side of him that I hadn't experienced or seen before....I dunno, I could be over analyzing that one. Either way, it's still something I am looking forward to.
Gary also has a chance while he was here to meet my church family and my very special friends and my best friends and my God Daughter...all of which are extremely important to me. We had a little get together at my friend Rox's house where he met most of my friends, but it had been a long drive for him so he was quite tired at the party. I felt bad afterwards for putting him through all that, but I was still glad he was here to meet some very important people in my life. All in all, he made a great impression on most of my friends. This will probably be the only time he ever comes here, since it is quite possible after this summer, I may not be back to Dallas for a LONG time...although I am coming back for a few days in December for Julie & Darrell's new daughter's baptism; if we can get the dates all worked out.
Speaking of Julie and Darrell (Julie= my best friend)....they are expecting another little girl in November right around Thanksgiving. Her name will be Alexis. It makes me sooo sad that I won't be a part of her life, with me being in seminary. It has been soooo MUCH fun though being here in summer to spend time with Chloe. She is talking so much now, that it is so much fun to play with her! We actually have some fun and cool conversations. Julie and Darrell have done such an amazing job with her. Her vocabulary just astounds me! It also makes me sad how much I will miss when I leave again...but it will be nice to see them all in December, even if it is for just a few days. Julie has been finally getting past a lot of sickness from the first Trimester...Thank the Lord! So it's been fun feeling the baby move around in her belly and using the stethoscope to hear her in there; just like I did with Chloe, just maybe not as frequent. Being around death and watching kids suffering everyday, has made me hug people a little longer, made me hold onto Chloe (and Julie) just a little tighter. Life is just too precious to waste any second. I am soooo Thankful to have Julie who allows me to part of their lives as intimately as they do. It is truly a gift and a blessing. Julie continues to be my emotional support, along with Gary this summer; although I sense Gary struggles sometimes understanding how close and connected I am with Julie....but I think he's doing better with it all.
So I am heading home to visit family in NC after I finish my CPE next month for a few days. I had decided it is really important for me to spend time with my Grandmother (Abuelita) as her health is always a question. But she IS 94 years old! I would just feel awful if I started school this semester and something were to happen and I not had the chance to say my goodbyes. So I fear while I am looking forward to spending time with my mom and siblings that this could be the last time I see my grandmother, and that just makes me sad. But it is far better than not going at all!
Sooo, I think that's about it for now. I'm off to do rounds. I'm at another Children's hospital right down the street from the other one...very different over here, as most patients are on a very strict rigid schedule; makes it challenging to see and speak with patients, but hey....I got to blog! Many blessings, peace, patience, understanding and enlightenment be with all reading today. May God bless you all!
