With that title description that could only mean one thing....CPE! Clinical Pastoral Education. Yup, I started this week with a little anxiety, some worry and anxiousness only to end up at the morgue twice this week! Seriously, this CPE thing is going to be a little tougher than I thought!
I am doing my CPE at Children's Medical Center in Dallas. Their policy includes, among a bizillion other policies, that all deceased must be escorted to their morgue by a member of the Chaplain staff. This is going to be a little tough for me, as up until this week, I had never been in a morgue before. I was pretty creeped out at first. The second time we went in there, the pathologist who performs the autopsies was there and invited everyone into the room where they do them. I just stood by the wall and waited for my classmates. I guess my comfortableness will come with time.
So lots of training this week and LOTS of walking. I spent 2 days in new employee orientation. Some of the material had nothing to do with my department, but I sat through it all. By Tuesday orientation and power point presentation number #???, I decided to start working on writing my sermon. (I have to preach tomorrow in church). Wednesday and Thursday were days to get to know my classmates and procedure stuff specific for our office. Friday we set our on call schedule for the entire summer. Looks like I'll be staying just 2 nights at the hospital this summer....not too bad. We also broadcast everyday 15 minutes little sermonettes from our chapel. I'll be leading a few of those plus leading chapel at least once this summer. The schedule setting took us a while, but we managed to get through it. Had to go pick up some new tennis shoes today, as my feet and knees have been taking a SERIOUS beating with all the walking involved. I will have my floor assignments on Monday. I have to pick where I'd like to be...leaning towards just general pediatrics, as I thing all the bloody stuff will be in the ICU units and trauma. But something tells me that when I AM on call, all bets are off! I will probably need to get over my queasiness about seeing bloody stuff.
So Gary and I are continuing to chat online every night. It's still difficult not being a little closer to each other, but we have planned to get together soon. I can't wait! I miss him so much. We're continuing to get to know each other every time we talk. I try to mention to him something new that he doesn't know about me and we've just starting using these conversation starter cards. That's been fun! As we share I am reminded how much we have in common and how glad I am that he is a part of my life.
I have to redo one of my final papers from Spring semester. NOT happy about that, but I do have a few more weeks to get it done. That is on my agenda next weekend! I was quite frustrated about having to redo it, but I also just want it done. I know I passed all the rest of my classes this past semester. I'm looking forward to being back at school this Fall. I also have my endorsement paper to write by the end of this summer. My endorsement interview will be in October. This is the interview that is made up of someone from my home Synod, some peers, adviser and professors. They will decide if I am ready to go on internship my third year. Again, something I have to wait for an assignment for next Spring. I'm just hoping to remain fairly close to Gary, but we'll see since I cannot restrict.
Well....lots of drama going on at my church. My friend Keith, who helped form our Praise Team decided to leave...NOT a huge shock, but I hope he is happy. I've been so proud of the youth who have remained part of the band. They have done remarkably and contrary to what Keith believes, the church and the praise band will survive without him.
I am missing seeing my fellow seminarians. They have become such a big part of my life now that its like they are family. I've been following come of their CPE stuff on Facebook...some of it is quite humorous! But I still miss them.
So I think that is all for now. Another CPE update next week...as then I will be on my own..scary thought. God bless to all reading!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
On the brink of boredom...must be time for CPE to start!
Well this month has been exciting so far! I've traveled all over the place, seen lots of friends I hadn't seen in a long time, been getting a nice summer tan....YEAH RIGHT???!!! About the only truth to that previous statement was about my tan and that's ONLY because I've been going walking twice a day...GOTTA continue to get exercise, even in this HEAT!!!
I've primarily been walking to MAKE Julie exercise. She'd been complaining about sickness from her pregnancy and always being tired. After spending a DAY chasing after Chloe....I NOW GET THAT! But she does need to exercise for the new baby coming so....I've been making her walk with me. I only intended on making her walk once a day, but she insist on a second walk, which doesn't sit well with me, since I HATE heat. Inevitable if you live here in Dallas, TX!
So I just completed my JTerm assignment. Since I didn't DO a JTerm project this past January because of my multiple hospital stays, I opted to write a paper for the requirement. My title? The Theology of Pain and Suffering. It was actually pretty interesting once I started doing some research and reading a few sources one of my professors had given me. I actually learned a lot while doing it and somewhat feel like I MAY be OK during CPE. We'll see I guess. That adventure starts on Monday!
Still missing my boyfriend, Gary terribly. It sucks that neither he or I can travel to see each other right now. Skype has become a necessity for us. I dunno which is worse...seeing him everyday on Skype, which seems to make me miss him more or not seeing him at all! I suppose it's just an adjustment, but one I DON'T have to like right now. As my dear single friend told me yesterday, "At least you HAVE a boyfriend"! I am thankful for that! He continues to make me smile everyday and that is priceless to me right now!
I have 2 preaching "gigs" coming up. Both at my home church. My Pastor has decided to take a day off of preaching on June 13th and the day off on July 4th. So I guess the REAL test begins to see how well I can prepare a sermon. I don't know which is worse, preaching in front of my peers at school for a grade or my home congregation (which probably has a little higher expectation of me now that I'm in seminary). It's a toss up challenge. One I knew I would have, but nervous about it just the same. Lots of drama going on at my church regarding a Praise Band that I helped to start. They are having to make some changes and adjustments. I'm just glad I am here this summer to help, as I do feel like I owe my church at least that for all the support they give me.
Haven't been able to get in the pool for a few days. The Pool guy has gotta come out and fix the "sucker cleaner thingy"....ya u know what I mean! Last time I tried to get in there, I was attacked by bugs, so I'm gonna wait! NEED POOL to relieve SUMMER HEAT!!!!
So I have one final paper to redo from Spring semester before the end of this month. I want to start on it this week and just get it done, as I fear CPE is gonna drain a lot out of me. My dear friend from seminary, Kate, said, when I asked her how her first day of CPE went, "It's kinda like sucking on the end of a fire hose that's turned on full blast!" NOT exactly the encouraging words I would have liked to have for this week, but I am anxious and ready to start. I also gotta start learning the Hebrew Alphabet. I have to have it learned by the time I start school this Fall. My mother is starting to help me with that tomorrow.
I've been so enjoying spending time with my precious God Daughter Chloe. She is almost 2 and is at such a FUN stage! It's soooo cool having someone to play with! I mean, it's nice to play WITH her! (Yeah right! Anyone who KNOWS me at all knows I meant the later!) She continues to amaze me everyday, but it also makes me so sad seeing how much I have missed this past year. Julie has done such an amazing job with her. I sat next to Julie yesterday and using her stethoscope, I listened to her new baby moving around in her belly. It was so cool! It made me a little jealous and I teared up thinking that I will probably never have that experience. Years ago, that would have made me very sad; and if you catch me on a "bad" day sometimes it still does. Bottom line, by the time I start my new career in a few more years, "my birthing" years are going to be well behind me. Not to mention the need for ONE more knee surgery...eventually. Children, of my own, are just not in the cards for me and I came to that conclusion some time ago. Besides, since dating Gary, something tells me, children will continue to be in my life for a while and I don't mind that at all.
Well....I have a children's sermon to write for tomorrow and need to fix me some dinner. Peace and blessings to all reading.
I've primarily been walking to MAKE Julie exercise. She'd been complaining about sickness from her pregnancy and always being tired. After spending a DAY chasing after Chloe....I NOW GET THAT! But she does need to exercise for the new baby coming so....I've been making her walk with me. I only intended on making her walk once a day, but she insist on a second walk, which doesn't sit well with me, since I HATE heat. Inevitable if you live here in Dallas, TX!
So I just completed my JTerm assignment. Since I didn't DO a JTerm project this past January because of my multiple hospital stays, I opted to write a paper for the requirement. My title? The Theology of Pain and Suffering. It was actually pretty interesting once I started doing some research and reading a few sources one of my professors had given me. I actually learned a lot while doing it and somewhat feel like I MAY be OK during CPE. We'll see I guess. That adventure starts on Monday!
Still missing my boyfriend, Gary terribly. It sucks that neither he or I can travel to see each other right now. Skype has become a necessity for us. I dunno which is worse...seeing him everyday on Skype, which seems to make me miss him more or not seeing him at all! I suppose it's just an adjustment, but one I DON'T have to like right now. As my dear single friend told me yesterday, "At least you HAVE a boyfriend"! I am thankful for that! He continues to make me smile everyday and that is priceless to me right now!
I have 2 preaching "gigs" coming up. Both at my home church. My Pastor has decided to take a day off of preaching on June 13th and the day off on July 4th. So I guess the REAL test begins to see how well I can prepare a sermon. I don't know which is worse, preaching in front of my peers at school for a grade or my home congregation (which probably has a little higher expectation of me now that I'm in seminary). It's a toss up challenge. One I knew I would have, but nervous about it just the same. Lots of drama going on at my church regarding a Praise Band that I helped to start. They are having to make some changes and adjustments. I'm just glad I am here this summer to help, as I do feel like I owe my church at least that for all the support they give me.
Haven't been able to get in the pool for a few days. The Pool guy has gotta come out and fix the "sucker cleaner thingy"....ya u know what I mean! Last time I tried to get in there, I was attacked by bugs, so I'm gonna wait! NEED POOL to relieve SUMMER HEAT!!!!
So I have one final paper to redo from Spring semester before the end of this month. I want to start on it this week and just get it done, as I fear CPE is gonna drain a lot out of me. My dear friend from seminary, Kate, said, when I asked her how her first day of CPE went, "It's kinda like sucking on the end of a fire hose that's turned on full blast!" NOT exactly the encouraging words I would have liked to have for this week, but I am anxious and ready to start. I also gotta start learning the Hebrew Alphabet. I have to have it learned by the time I start school this Fall. My mother is starting to help me with that tomorrow.
I've been so enjoying spending time with my precious God Daughter Chloe. She is almost 2 and is at such a FUN stage! It's soooo cool having someone to play with! I mean, it's nice to play WITH her! (Yeah right! Anyone who KNOWS me at all knows I meant the later!) She continues to amaze me everyday, but it also makes me so sad seeing how much I have missed this past year. Julie has done such an amazing job with her. I sat next to Julie yesterday and using her stethoscope, I listened to her new baby moving around in her belly. It was so cool! It made me a little jealous and I teared up thinking that I will probably never have that experience. Years ago, that would have made me very sad; and if you catch me on a "bad" day sometimes it still does. Bottom line, by the time I start my new career in a few more years, "my birthing" years are going to be well behind me. Not to mention the need for ONE more knee surgery...eventually. Children, of my own, are just not in the cards for me and I came to that conclusion some time ago. Besides, since dating Gary, something tells me, children will continue to be in my life for a while and I don't mind that at all.
Well....I have a children's sermon to write for tomorrow and need to fix me some dinner. Peace and blessings to all reading.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Back in Texas for the summer....bring on the HEAT!!
Man, oh man...I can't believe it, but I actually had forgotten how HOT it gets here during the summer! All I can say is that I AM VERY happy that where I am staying this summer has a nice big pool in the backyard...so THANKS MARGARET!
Yes, Finally back here in Texas. As soon as I got here, wanted to spend time with my God Daughter, Chloe and my best friend Julie. I played with her for almost 2 days straight. It's amazing how much energy a toddler can just WIPE right out of you! I was literally exhausted from playing...and that's hard for me to even type! I dunno how Julie does that everyday! But God love her for being a Full time MOM PLUS pregnant??!! I dunno that I would possess the energy let alone the patience to do it!
So I'm all settled in at Marg's house for the summer in N. Dallas area. I have a nice King sized bed for the summer and nice accommodations, and NOW lots of free time. I sincerely regret that I didn't rethink things and stay up in Illinois with Gary a little longer. I honestly thought we would get tired of each other after spending a week together and I'd be WANTING to leave, but It was really hard to leave him, knowing that wouldn't see him again for at least 2 months! I've gotten so spoiled and used to seeing him every 2 weeks when I was in school that NOW (especially after spending a week together) I am realizing how much I truly miss him. Yeah, I know it's sickening but even writing about him now makes me smile. It has been a long time since I have been this happy in a relationship and I consider myself VERY lucky to have him in my life. He has become more than just my boyfriend, but someone I trust, depend on, my friend and someone I cherish and care for very deeply. Someone I want to keep in my life for a LONG time.
So this past Sunday was my first Sunday back at my home church. It is sad for me to be gone for a while and return to see people getting older, people who have left the church, but also see the changes the church has made. It's tough for me to feel like an outsider now in my own church family, but that's what it feels like. My Pastor has already asked me when I wanted to preach...I told him just to give me a week's notice and I can be ready. I think he's ready for a vacation already! I'll be playing as much as I can in my church Praise Band, but they won't be playing most of the summer, which is a bummer for me. But I realize they have been busy all year long while I've been away at school and need a break too! We have a concert coming up the end of June. I don't know what role I will play yet in that concert, but for now, I am just attending a few rehearsals just for fun.
Found out I passed my BIG systematics class! My final paper was 50% of my grade. I was nervous about it. I spent a lot of time on it and had several people read it. So I guess the paper was OK since I passed the class! I wish I could have another semester of Systematics. While it was very challenging, it also helped me form my theological foundation of my future ministry. I loved it!
So CPE starts on June 7th. I have been blowing time here at the Richardson Library, trying to write one more paper! Since I didn't do J-Term, I have a paper to write that is due the day I start CPE. I've started it and have an outline, so I have a start on it. Need to do some more reading to complete it. It is a paper on the Theology of Pain and Suffering. Should be a good one! Well....I am off to Julie's to play with Chloe for a bit. Peace and God's grace be with all who are reading.
Yes, Finally back here in Texas. As soon as I got here, wanted to spend time with my God Daughter, Chloe and my best friend Julie. I played with her for almost 2 days straight. It's amazing how much energy a toddler can just WIPE right out of you! I was literally exhausted from playing...and that's hard for me to even type! I dunno how Julie does that everyday! But God love her for being a Full time MOM PLUS pregnant??!! I dunno that I would possess the energy let alone the patience to do it!
So I'm all settled in at Marg's house for the summer in N. Dallas area. I have a nice King sized bed for the summer and nice accommodations, and NOW lots of free time. I sincerely regret that I didn't rethink things and stay up in Illinois with Gary a little longer. I honestly thought we would get tired of each other after spending a week together and I'd be WANTING to leave, but It was really hard to leave him, knowing that wouldn't see him again for at least 2 months! I've gotten so spoiled and used to seeing him every 2 weeks when I was in school that NOW (especially after spending a week together) I am realizing how much I truly miss him. Yeah, I know it's sickening but even writing about him now makes me smile. It has been a long time since I have been this happy in a relationship and I consider myself VERY lucky to have him in my life. He has become more than just my boyfriend, but someone I trust, depend on, my friend and someone I cherish and care for very deeply. Someone I want to keep in my life for a LONG time.
So this past Sunday was my first Sunday back at my home church. It is sad for me to be gone for a while and return to see people getting older, people who have left the church, but also see the changes the church has made. It's tough for me to feel like an outsider now in my own church family, but that's what it feels like. My Pastor has already asked me when I wanted to preach...I told him just to give me a week's notice and I can be ready. I think he's ready for a vacation already! I'll be playing as much as I can in my church Praise Band, but they won't be playing most of the summer, which is a bummer for me. But I realize they have been busy all year long while I've been away at school and need a break too! We have a concert coming up the end of June. I don't know what role I will play yet in that concert, but for now, I am just attending a few rehearsals just for fun.
Found out I passed my BIG systematics class! My final paper was 50% of my grade. I was nervous about it. I spent a lot of time on it and had several people read it. So I guess the paper was OK since I passed the class! I wish I could have another semester of Systematics. While it was very challenging, it also helped me form my theological foundation of my future ministry. I loved it!
So CPE starts on June 7th. I have been blowing time here at the Richardson Library, trying to write one more paper! Since I didn't do J-Term, I have a paper to write that is due the day I start CPE. I've started it and have an outline, so I have a start on it. Need to do some more reading to complete it. It is a paper on the Theology of Pain and Suffering. Should be a good one! Well....I am off to Julie's to play with Chloe for a bit. Peace and God's grace be with all who are reading.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
The last week of school...my first year DONE??
WOW....even as I type the words, its almost frightening to me but exciting all at the same time. This semester has been one of spiritual growth, renewal of my faith and love of God and some personal changes in my life too. ALL of which I am SO happy about that I'd probably make those reading sick to hear about it all...but hey, it is MY blog, so here it goes.
So - I know on my last post, almost a month ago now, things were becoming interesting with my new "friend". First, he did give me permission to say his name. His name is Gary. And he is officially my boyfriend. It is so nice having one again. It has been a long time since I've had someone actually care about me and my quirkiness (which many people who know me at all will tell you can be a lot)...but we do enjoy spending time together. Last Saturday, we went and flew a kite together. It was just one of those Kodak moments that I hope to remember....well, I will since I video taped him trying to keep the kite up on a pretty windy day! I enjoy just sitting and talking to him or just walking hand in hand. He makes me smile, he values my thoughts and makes me feel pretty important. All qualities that are great in a boyfriend. I met his family last weekend for the first time (his Mom and Sister and nieces); with the condition that he would come to church with me. His family is so loving and wonderful, it was obvious to me that the apple didn't fall far from the tree. We actually went back up to see them again today for Mother's Day. His church experience with me was nice too. I think he enjoyed it. I just thought it was nice that he shared something with me that was deeply personal. I know it meant more to me than him, but it's OK. We, Gary and I are just hoping to work something out about seeing each other this summer....as Dallas is a long ways from where he lives. I have to believe that if he and I are meant to be together it will all work out. Now that I have a boyfriend, I am also contemplating about whether or not I should put restrictions on where I want to go for my internship in 2 years. I kinda have to make a decision about that before the end of this summer, as my paperwork is due this Fall when I return to school. I don't know about that yet, but what I do know is that the more time spend with him, the more I want to be around him and I know he feels the same. His kids I haven't met yet, but hope to soon. I look forward to doing that as I know it is something very important to him. 4 kids are a blessing, not an obstacle, so I will approach it that way when the time comes. For now, I continue to pray for him and his kids as they all are having challenges with his divorce...as divorces always seem to lend itself to that!
My Pastor finally made it here last week for another visit. It was a quick visit, but a visit none the less! I seemed to recall his last visit, me still being homesick, so this one was quite different. It is so nice to have deep theological conversations with someone who gets it? And unless you are someone in the field, that is kinda hard to explain. I am starting to look forward to starting my CPE and putting some of this theological/pastoral care stuff to use! I know it will be easier said than done, but I am COUNTING that when the time comes, I will be filled with the Holy Spirit and will possess the right words to say to help someone in need. That and I'll be carrying my Pastoral Care book EVERYWHERE with me! I will be staying with Margaret, a member of my home church this summer. I'm looking forward to that too, as she has a nice big pool in her backyard. SOMETHING I PLAN TO USE probably everyday! Margaret is such a blessing to open her home to me. I am still feeling a little guilty about not staying with Julie and Darrell this summer but I know I will probably see them everyday...as I LOVE spending time with my God Daughter. I can't wait to see everyone at my home church. It will be nice to worship at my home church again....even if it is for just a few months. My name is officially on my home Synod's website for Pulpit Supply this summer. It was nice seeing my name listed as a "real" seminarian preacher....weird even typing that!
Family drama. Enough said. My siblings and I had to have a conference call to address some issues for my mother and grandmother. My grandmother is just getting older and older and my brother and sister Tamara believes, she truly may not be around by the end of the year. This deeply saddens me, so I am trying to see if I can make some time to get home to NC soon, as I KNOW I will regret it if don't.
So, as this last week of classes begins, I am amazed and in aw at how far I have come within one year. This time last year I was preparing for a big move with much sadness and anxiety. NOW as I end my first year...my emotions are a little the same. Sadness in leaving my boyfriend all summer and my seminary family of friends and a little anxiety (not a lot) about starting CPE. I'll be doing my best to post updates this summer during my CPE...not making any promises.
So I'll close for now and will probably type again from home in Dallas, TX. Peace and blessings to all reading.
So - I know on my last post, almost a month ago now, things were becoming interesting with my new "friend". First, he did give me permission to say his name. His name is Gary. And he is officially my boyfriend. It is so nice having one again. It has been a long time since I've had someone actually care about me and my quirkiness (which many people who know me at all will tell you can be a lot)...but we do enjoy spending time together. Last Saturday, we went and flew a kite together. It was just one of those Kodak moments that I hope to remember....well, I will since I video taped him trying to keep the kite up on a pretty windy day! I enjoy just sitting and talking to him or just walking hand in hand. He makes me smile, he values my thoughts and makes me feel pretty important. All qualities that are great in a boyfriend. I met his family last weekend for the first time (his Mom and Sister and nieces); with the condition that he would come to church with me. His family is so loving and wonderful, it was obvious to me that the apple didn't fall far from the tree. We actually went back up to see them again today for Mother's Day. His church experience with me was nice too. I think he enjoyed it. I just thought it was nice that he shared something with me that was deeply personal. I know it meant more to me than him, but it's OK. We, Gary and I are just hoping to work something out about seeing each other this summer....as Dallas is a long ways from where he lives. I have to believe that if he and I are meant to be together it will all work out. Now that I have a boyfriend, I am also contemplating about whether or not I should put restrictions on where I want to go for my internship in 2 years. I kinda have to make a decision about that before the end of this summer, as my paperwork is due this Fall when I return to school. I don't know about that yet, but what I do know is that the more time spend with him, the more I want to be around him and I know he feels the same. His kids I haven't met yet, but hope to soon. I look forward to doing that as I know it is something very important to him. 4 kids are a blessing, not an obstacle, so I will approach it that way when the time comes. For now, I continue to pray for him and his kids as they all are having challenges with his divorce...as divorces always seem to lend itself to that!
My Pastor finally made it here last week for another visit. It was a quick visit, but a visit none the less! I seemed to recall his last visit, me still being homesick, so this one was quite different. It is so nice to have deep theological conversations with someone who gets it? And unless you are someone in the field, that is kinda hard to explain. I am starting to look forward to starting my CPE and putting some of this theological/pastoral care stuff to use! I know it will be easier said than done, but I am COUNTING that when the time comes, I will be filled with the Holy Spirit and will possess the right words to say to help someone in need. That and I'll be carrying my Pastoral Care book EVERYWHERE with me! I will be staying with Margaret, a member of my home church this summer. I'm looking forward to that too, as she has a nice big pool in her backyard. SOMETHING I PLAN TO USE probably everyday! Margaret is such a blessing to open her home to me. I am still feeling a little guilty about not staying with Julie and Darrell this summer but I know I will probably see them everyday...as I LOVE spending time with my God Daughter. I can't wait to see everyone at my home church. It will be nice to worship at my home church again....even if it is for just a few months. My name is officially on my home Synod's website for Pulpit Supply this summer. It was nice seeing my name listed as a "real" seminarian preacher....weird even typing that!
Family drama. Enough said. My siblings and I had to have a conference call to address some issues for my mother and grandmother. My grandmother is just getting older and older and my brother and sister Tamara believes, she truly may not be around by the end of the year. This deeply saddens me, so I am trying to see if I can make some time to get home to NC soon, as I KNOW I will regret it if don't.
So, as this last week of classes begins, I am amazed and in aw at how far I have come within one year. This time last year I was preparing for a big move with much sadness and anxiety. NOW as I end my first year...my emotions are a little the same. Sadness in leaving my boyfriend all summer and my seminary family of friends and a little anxiety (not a lot) about starting CPE. I'll be doing my best to post updates this summer during my CPE...not making any promises.
So I'll close for now and will probably type again from home in Dallas, TX. Peace and blessings to all reading.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
4 weeks and a few days= 1st year of seminary DONE!
As I typed those words in the title block, I have to admit my heart fluttered a bit! Just can't believe it! A lot has happened since this time last year when I was still in Dallas preparing for my move to Iowa!
I survived summer Greek, Greek classes (well just finishing up my final one this semester), and I can't believe I am going to say this, but I REALLY do love Greek now. The more you study it the more I grow to respect the language of our ancient religious fathers whose words seem to echo in my head as I translate and try to figure out what the heck they actually meant! It's quite fascinating...I guess u have to really study it to appreciate it, so I won't bore you with anymore of that!
SO, the awesome news, I met the new "love-interest" last weekend...(OK, so I really don't know what to call him yet!)..but someone I hope...will be, dare I say it..."a boyfriend"?? We'll see. Lots of things still in the air, but what I do finally know, is that he and I are on the same page about a lot of things and EVERY time talk to him or think of him, it makes me GRIN from ear to ear. So I'd say that is a VERY good thing! I wished he lived a little closer so we can see each other more, but perhaps him being a few hours away is a good thing, since I need to stay focused on my studies. We plan on seeing each other every 2 weeks, which for now is awesome! (He's even planning on coming to Dallas this summer to see me!)
Our first meeting last weekend was wonderful and a little romantic at certain parts. He looked much better in person; he said the same about me! We talk to each other everyday and text each other a lot during the day and he has so quickly seemed to fill a void in my life that I thought would never be filled ever again; which makes me a little nervous, but excited at the same time. I'm trying to take things very slowly and see how things go. That's just tough to do when u are really excited about it! Its also a little awkward for me seeing someone while in seminary, as there are certain rules and things I have to think about that never existed before, but as I said, just taking things slow. But there was a little kiss last weekend, that had me on cloud 9 all week long!
So down to the wire with school. I have 6 more papers to go to be done for the whole semester. This semester to me has flown by. I wish I could take another Systematics class. I know most of my classmates do not feel the same, but I've loved it! Should be registering soon for next year. I'll be taking Ethics, Lutheran Confessions and the BIG one I'm not looking forward to is Hebrew! Hopefully this time next year, I will be able to say the same about Hebrew as I have about Greek, but we'll see. I do plan on staying in the dorms on the 3rd floor next year. It's nice not having anyone above me. I'll be moving into a little bigger room, which I am excited about. My brother has offered to build me a loft and I already have a love seat and chair for my room next year, which I am very excited about. Having a sitting area in my room! YEAH! It's be much nicer when people came over to watch movies or hang out. So I'm looking forward to it!
My best friend Julie is expecting her second child. I still can't believe it even as I type it! I regret that I haven't been able to be around with this pregnancy, as I recall her first one being rough! But she and her family are moving this summer so as it turns out I won't be staying with her this summer. I'm staying with another member of my home congregation, whom I love, Margaret. I think it will be a lot less stressful for me, as I'm just not sure how emotionally stable I will be this summer with CPE. As most people who have gone through it say, prepare yourself for every emotional wall to be broken down but at the same time to be made into a stronger emotionally stable person. So in that light, I just didn't want to put myself in any situation that would not be conducive to being calm most of the time! As much as I love my God daughter, I also know she is almost 2 now and can be very tough to handle at times! You add that with a pregnancy and a move and you could have your hands on a stressful situation! Thus, staying at Margaret's. I am still unsure if this is the right decision, but we'll see. It's not like I will be that far from Julie's house. But I have to admit also, that a part of me wishes I would be doing my CPE in North Carolina to be near my family. Perhaps I can get placed over there for my internship? We'll see. Lots to do before then.
So Easter weekend was wonderful, beautiful and memorable. I hope it was for all reading. Peace of God and our Lord and Risen Savior be with you and love to all. I'll write again before the end of the term I'm sure!
I survived summer Greek, Greek classes (well just finishing up my final one this semester), and I can't believe I am going to say this, but I REALLY do love Greek now. The more you study it the more I grow to respect the language of our ancient religious fathers whose words seem to echo in my head as I translate and try to figure out what the heck they actually meant! It's quite fascinating...I guess u have to really study it to appreciate it, so I won't bore you with anymore of that!
SO, the awesome news, I met the new "love-interest" last weekend...(OK, so I really don't know what to call him yet!)..but someone I hope...will be, dare I say it..."a boyfriend"?? We'll see. Lots of things still in the air, but what I do finally know, is that he and I are on the same page about a lot of things and EVERY time talk to him or think of him, it makes me GRIN from ear to ear. So I'd say that is a VERY good thing! I wished he lived a little closer so we can see each other more, but perhaps him being a few hours away is a good thing, since I need to stay focused on my studies. We plan on seeing each other every 2 weeks, which for now is awesome! (He's even planning on coming to Dallas this summer to see me!)
Our first meeting last weekend was wonderful and a little romantic at certain parts. He looked much better in person; he said the same about me! We talk to each other everyday and text each other a lot during the day and he has so quickly seemed to fill a void in my life that I thought would never be filled ever again; which makes me a little nervous, but excited at the same time. I'm trying to take things very slowly and see how things go. That's just tough to do when u are really excited about it! Its also a little awkward for me seeing someone while in seminary, as there are certain rules and things I have to think about that never existed before, but as I said, just taking things slow. But there was a little kiss last weekend, that had me on cloud 9 all week long!
So down to the wire with school. I have 6 more papers to go to be done for the whole semester. This semester to me has flown by. I wish I could take another Systematics class. I know most of my classmates do not feel the same, but I've loved it! Should be registering soon for next year. I'll be taking Ethics, Lutheran Confessions and the BIG one I'm not looking forward to is Hebrew! Hopefully this time next year, I will be able to say the same about Hebrew as I have about Greek, but we'll see. I do plan on staying in the dorms on the 3rd floor next year. It's nice not having anyone above me. I'll be moving into a little bigger room, which I am excited about. My brother has offered to build me a loft and I already have a love seat and chair for my room next year, which I am very excited about. Having a sitting area in my room! YEAH! It's be much nicer when people came over to watch movies or hang out. So I'm looking forward to it!
My best friend Julie is expecting her second child. I still can't believe it even as I type it! I regret that I haven't been able to be around with this pregnancy, as I recall her first one being rough! But she and her family are moving this summer so as it turns out I won't be staying with her this summer. I'm staying with another member of my home congregation, whom I love, Margaret. I think it will be a lot less stressful for me, as I'm just not sure how emotionally stable I will be this summer with CPE. As most people who have gone through it say, prepare yourself for every emotional wall to be broken down but at the same time to be made into a stronger emotionally stable person. So in that light, I just didn't want to put myself in any situation that would not be conducive to being calm most of the time! As much as I love my God daughter, I also know she is almost 2 now and can be very tough to handle at times! You add that with a pregnancy and a move and you could have your hands on a stressful situation! Thus, staying at Margaret's. I am still unsure if this is the right decision, but we'll see. It's not like I will be that far from Julie's house. But I have to admit also, that a part of me wishes I would be doing my CPE in North Carolina to be near my family. Perhaps I can get placed over there for my internship? We'll see. Lots to do before then.
So Easter weekend was wonderful, beautiful and memorable. I hope it was for all reading. Peace of God and our Lord and Risen Savior be with you and love to all. I'll write again before the end of the term I'm sure!
Monday, March 29, 2010
FINALLY Spring time is here in Iowa...
Greetings all! Sorry its been a while. I have managed to stay ahead in all my classes....thus a lot less posting on here! LOL. Classes are continuing to be challenging, but I love it. Systematics, is for sure my favorite of all my classes this semester; coincidently, also has the MOST to read this semester! My final paper, 10 pages long is going to be on how Jesus' humanity and divinity are seen in he Gospels today and how Jesus is the New Adam and how Jesus is seen in creation. That's not the actual title of my paper, but that is what I am writing about...in a nut shell. It's a lot, so I figured I SHOULD be able to write 10 pages on all that!
Newest news...I've been talking for about the last month to a man I met online. (Yeah, I know, like where do I have the time or money for that!...what can I say, I was REALLY lonely one weekend and decided to give it one more shot!) I met a wonderful man that I have been chatting with online and speaking to on the phone since then. I'd tell you his name, except he may not want me too. He is very sincere, honest and a God fearing man. He just moved to Illinois, a few hours from me this past weekend. His mother lives here in Dubuque, so I will hopefully start seeing him alot. We hope to be able to meet this weekend for the first time, so cross your fingers. I sense a lot of "goodness and integrity" about him, so I hope I am right about this one. Hopefully will share more about him later.
This past weekend, March 27th, was my baby sister's, Myra's, wedding to Anthony Steech (Tony). My whole family was there, minus my sister-in-law, who had to stay at home with her very sick, prized horse, Dover (who is much better now) and my grandmother, who is simply just too old to travel (according to my mom). In times past, I have always stressed about spending time with family; as I did about this trip. I was preparing myself to be disappointed, but I am learning, that we (my siblings and I...even my mom), as we've grown older, more mature, we have learned to appreciate each other MUCH better. We laughed, we laughed till we cried, we enjoyed each other's company and managed to make it through the whole weekend, with minimal fighting or fuss. I was quite impressed. I even got to spend more time with my sister Tamara's partner, Teresa, whom I have decided has significantly made my sister Tamara a MUCH more pleasant person! It's amazing what the love of another person can do to someone. Myra overall was very calm all weekend...only yelling at us, I think twice, which was to be expected, but she did apologize! I had some time to I spent talking to, playing and dancing with my neice & nephew, Amry & Aidyn. (That just made me sad thinking how little they really know me!) The ceremony was beautiful and Myra was truly glowing the whole day. I have attached pics for ya'll to see, if you'd like. Leaving Arizona from my family really made me sad; as I really wanted to stay and spend more time together. I hope to be able to do that at the end of the semester, but we'll see. Who knows, maybe I'll be there for internship. We'll see!
Holy week has began and this year has a much deeper meaning for me. I suppose studying about the meaning behind everything we say and do in church, really impacts my own personal worship experience. I value it more and more each day. I feel more contemplative, more meditative, closer to God in a way that is making me truly realize the awesomeness of my Call to ministry. The awesome responsibility of helping others become closer to God is really starting to hit me....and its a little scary; no, A LOT scary...but in a good way. This week, as I attend services Wednesday-Sunday, I will take time to remember all the pain and suffering Jesus' endured for me. I am eternally grateful and hope those reading are too!
May the peace of God that surpasses all understanding be with you this Holy Week and always. Open the eyes of your heart and allow Jesus to sink into your soul this Easter! God bless all reading!
Newest news...I've been talking for about the last month to a man I met online. (Yeah, I know, like where do I have the time or money for that!...what can I say, I was REALLY lonely one weekend and decided to give it one more shot!) I met a wonderful man that I have been chatting with online and speaking to on the phone since then. I'd tell you his name, except he may not want me too. He is very sincere, honest and a God fearing man. He just moved to Illinois, a few hours from me this past weekend. His mother lives here in Dubuque, so I will hopefully start seeing him alot. We hope to be able to meet this weekend for the first time, so cross your fingers. I sense a lot of "goodness and integrity" about him, so I hope I am right about this one. Hopefully will share more about him later.
This past weekend, March 27th, was my baby sister's, Myra's, wedding to Anthony Steech (Tony). My whole family was there, minus my sister-in-law, who had to stay at home with her very sick, prized horse, Dover (who is much better now) and my grandmother, who is simply just too old to travel (according to my mom). In times past, I have always stressed about spending time with family; as I did about this trip. I was preparing myself to be disappointed, but I am learning, that we (my siblings and I...even my mom), as we've grown older, more mature, we have learned to appreciate each other MUCH better. We laughed, we laughed till we cried, we enjoyed each other's company and managed to make it through the whole weekend, with minimal fighting or fuss. I was quite impressed. I even got to spend more time with my sister Tamara's partner, Teresa, whom I have decided has significantly made my sister Tamara a MUCH more pleasant person! It's amazing what the love of another person can do to someone. Myra overall was very calm all weekend...only yelling at us, I think twice, which was to be expected, but she did apologize! I had some time to I spent talking to, playing and dancing with my neice & nephew, Amry & Aidyn. (That just made me sad thinking how little they really know me!) The ceremony was beautiful and Myra was truly glowing the whole day. I have attached pics for ya'll to see, if you'd like. Leaving Arizona from my family really made me sad; as I really wanted to stay and spend more time together. I hope to be able to do that at the end of the semester, but we'll see. Who knows, maybe I'll be there for internship. We'll see!
Holy week has began and this year has a much deeper meaning for me. I suppose studying about the meaning behind everything we say and do in church, really impacts my own personal worship experience. I value it more and more each day. I feel more contemplative, more meditative, closer to God in a way that is making me truly realize the awesomeness of my Call to ministry. The awesome responsibility of helping others become closer to God is really starting to hit me....and its a little scary; no, A LOT scary...but in a good way. This week, as I attend services Wednesday-Sunday, I will take time to remember all the pain and suffering Jesus' endured for me. I am eternally grateful and hope those reading are too!
May the peace of God that surpasses all understanding be with you this Holy Week and always. Open the eyes of your heart and allow Jesus to sink into your soul this Easter! God bless all reading!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Reading Days....very productive
Well...I have to say, I think I'm getting "a hang" of this school/seminary studying stuff. While I am STILL not a fast reader, I am getting quicker at scanning chapters of books, making notes of what I think the chapter is about and moving on....makes for a lot less stress in trying to read a book from cover to cover! So we've not had classes yesterday or today. I managed to stay 3 weeks ahead in translating my Greek in my Pauline Letters class and am trying to complete a paper that's not even due for 2 weeks! Yup....I am proud of myself for not goofing off and staying a head this semester. It was a HUGE problem for me last semester and I have learned that staying ahead, gives me luxury of being able to relax on the weekends and NOT be so stressed about what is due next week. We'll just see if all the staying ahead continues as we move into the next part of this semester.
I posted on my Facebook some time ago that I think I am on the verge of a "huge spiritual shift". I think, largely in part because I am staying very focused on "what" I am studying this semester! I think last semester, I spent most of my time worrying about things and adjusting, that just had a tough time doing much spiritual growth. This semester, I am just enjoying my classes so much that its hard NOT to talk about it all the time; let alone not thinking about theological issues ALL day long. I guess that's a good thing, but sometimes burdensome.
I am singing more this semester which has been a nice stress release for me. I think I mentioned that in an earlier post. It's just nice to sing with a group of people who have no expectations of me, no pressure to be a leader of the group...just to sing because I love to sing has been so refreshing and soul rejuvenating for me. I am truly Thankful to God for opening my eyes to doing that this semester.
Most of my classmates seem to be very stressed this semester. I proposed to my class that we have a put together a "Transition Team" for new seminarians next school year for the new incoming Juniors who will be going through everything I went through this year. It was "kind of" taken as a good idea, so we'll see how all that goes. I'll either be too wiped at the beginning of the year from CPE or just not want to come back to the North for school....just kidding. That won't happen!
So I have been dabbling "again" with online dating, Such a process! Why can't there just be some "normal guy" that lives near by that HAS a job and TRANSPORTATION with some decency, some morals and values and some HINT of religion as a foundation of their life to just "magically" appear?! I have decided a long time ago that the reason I am still single is that God is molding "this man" that he created to be my soul mate and the reason I haven't met him yet, is because "he isn't ready yet!". And when he is, God will make him appear to me. I had just hoped it would be on one of the "dating" websites I have been on....but no luck yet. I dunno. My sister is remarrying for the 2nd time, she met her guy on a site, then there's my buddy & former boss, Argelia, getting married the same day as my sister (which I am still bummed about) also met on a website. Soooo....I keep holding on to the fact that "it does happen"! Maybe the next guy will be "the one". But I'm constantly being reminded that perhaps my timing is just not quite right...cause I just keep meeting some weird ones! I'll keep trying. I guess there is no harm in that. There are just some days when having a significant other would be nice. I do miss being in a relationship and having that special someone to share with. As I sent out my Valentine's cards this year, I reminded those I sent them to, to not take advantage of what they have; To appreciate each other, because, these days god relationships are hard to find.
Anyways, enough of that soapbox. I am off to the library to read some more History and start writing my next paper. Until next time, Blessings and Peace!
I posted on my Facebook some time ago that I think I am on the verge of a "huge spiritual shift". I think, largely in part because I am staying very focused on "what" I am studying this semester! I think last semester, I spent most of my time worrying about things and adjusting, that just had a tough time doing much spiritual growth. This semester, I am just enjoying my classes so much that its hard NOT to talk about it all the time; let alone not thinking about theological issues ALL day long. I guess that's a good thing, but sometimes burdensome.
I am singing more this semester which has been a nice stress release for me. I think I mentioned that in an earlier post. It's just nice to sing with a group of people who have no expectations of me, no pressure to be a leader of the group...just to sing because I love to sing has been so refreshing and soul rejuvenating for me. I am truly Thankful to God for opening my eyes to doing that this semester.
Most of my classmates seem to be very stressed this semester. I proposed to my class that we have a put together a "Transition Team" for new seminarians next school year for the new incoming Juniors who will be going through everything I went through this year. It was "kind of" taken as a good idea, so we'll see how all that goes. I'll either be too wiped at the beginning of the year from CPE or just not want to come back to the North for school....just kidding. That won't happen!
So I have been dabbling "again" with online dating, Such a process! Why can't there just be some "normal guy" that lives near by that HAS a job and TRANSPORTATION with some decency, some morals and values and some HINT of religion as a foundation of their life to just "magically" appear?! I have decided a long time ago that the reason I am still single is that God is molding "this man" that he created to be my soul mate and the reason I haven't met him yet, is because "he isn't ready yet!". And when he is, God will make him appear to me. I had just hoped it would be on one of the "dating" websites I have been on....but no luck yet. I dunno. My sister is remarrying for the 2nd time, she met her guy on a site, then there's my buddy & former boss, Argelia, getting married the same day as my sister (which I am still bummed about) also met on a website. Soooo....I keep holding on to the fact that "it does happen"! Maybe the next guy will be "the one". But I'm constantly being reminded that perhaps my timing is just not quite right...cause I just keep meeting some weird ones! I'll keep trying. I guess there is no harm in that. There are just some days when having a significant other would be nice. I do miss being in a relationship and having that special someone to share with. As I sent out my Valentine's cards this year, I reminded those I sent them to, to not take advantage of what they have; To appreciate each other, because, these days god relationships are hard to find.
Anyways, enough of that soapbox. I am off to the library to read some more History and start writing my next paper. Until next time, Blessings and Peace!
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